Daily Dose Blogger Bios
Bamboo Eats People!!!
This is my tiny grove of Hawaiian Painted Bamboo (Bambusa vulgaris vittata), which has what I consider to be the most beautiful canes of all the bamboo varieties. I planted it close to my house so there would be a dramatic view of it's canes from one of my living room windows, like a painting...
I didn't say a good painting. Anyway, people tend to freak out about bamboo. Everybody has a friend, or a cousin, or a friend of a friend whose property was ruined by the simple planting of bamboo. They may have seen an image of a crisp wall of beautiful canes and green leaves in some fancy backyard, and so they bought a few bamboo plants and happily dug them in. And then the bamboo proceeded to take over the backyard, devouring everything in it's path. Before long, there are bamboo canes popping up all over the block and it is impossible to remove this stuff because every little piece left in the ground grows into another grove, and lawsuits from the neighbors are in the works, all because the innocent friend/cousin/friend of friend wanted a fancy bamboo hedge. And then the bamboo starts eating people - the plot for a new horror film - "Bamboo - The Running".
Because there are two types of bamboo - running and clumping, and the only people who should ever plant running bamboo are those who have nothing to do with their lives other than care for a bamboo grove. The rest of us need to stick to clumping bamboos. All the bamboos I plant in the ground are clumpers - I only plant running bamboo in pots that sit on concrete (because a root can and will creep out of the drainage hole and wreak havoc if the pot were sitting on soil).
So if you want bamboo, but have doubts and fears - plant it in a pot. And make sure it's a big pot!
Hilarious, because it's true. That looks a lot like my Alphonse Karr bamboo, also a clumper. (http://tinyurl.com/p5ypf)
But if you have Brugmansias (aka Angel Trumpets), then you have a similar problem. All parts of the plant are poisonous; some say hallucinogenic. People hiss at me and demand to know why I plant them in my front yard where their children could concievably eat them. As if it's somehow my problem that their kid pathologically eats leaves?
People, do me a favor: if your kid eats LEAVES, get them into therapy. Hold them back a year in school. Feed them a green veggie now and then. Something. Clearly it's a cry for help.
Suasoria, I want to print out your comment and give it to every client/mommy I know! The brugmansia thing can bring people to blows - Once, I was having a garden tour and one woman had her 5 or 6 year old boy with her. When she saw my Brugmansia 'Charles Grimaldi' in all it's flowery glory, she grabbed her kid and acted like I'd planted a pedophile in my backyard. "Don't go NEAR that plant - it is VERY VERY DANGEROUS." Well, that caused a commotion amongst the tourees which I tried my best to contain, but the damage was done. Nobody could see the beauty of the plant, only the poisonous fiend laying in wait.
Yes, as you pointed out, children should not be eating garden plants! Don't let any child graze in your yard!
Tee hee. I want a bamboo painting.
Your wish is my command. Give me a little time to source one...
Another fun trick I just thought of: have a dinner party and promise your friends a "nightshade salad" - eggplant, tomato, and peppers. People are conditioned to think all nightshades are deadly.
Perfect for Halloween! I'm always looking for 'theme dinners' - I'll have Nightshade Night when my friends are carving my pumpkins this year...